I Remember

Recently my days have been gobbled up by real life, but what is real life?  Very few days in my life have answered that question, but those that have were profound.  Eleven years an event happened that had no direct impact on me personally, but yet it showed what “real life” can really be like, in all its horrific honesty.  So, despite the fact that I don’t have the free days to work on my projects I’m taking this day, even if it late, to remember one day when the complexion of the world was changed.

I worked midnights then, and I had been home from work only a couple of hours.  Like most people that work that kind of shift, I went to bed as soon as  got home, and for once I went right to sleep.  I had not been asleep long before I woke up.  That was not all that strange, it happened often.  I was also living at my parents at the time and on this particular morning when I woke up I decided to see what my parents were up to.

I walked into the front room where my parents were watching the morning news, nothing odd about that.  What was odd was the weird look on their faces and the way they were looking at the TV.  That too, was also odd.  My parents were not dramatic people and their expressions could not have been any more dramatic.  I looked at the TV just as the second plane slammed into The World Trade Center.  I sat down in a chair and did not move for hours. 

I watched the video from New York, I watched the sun silhouette against the burning and smoking towers, I watched them both collapse.  My memory ends there.  I have no idea why, but after that moment I don’t remember much of the rest of that fateful day.

I wish that I could remember the whole day, but I am grateful that I am blessed to remember the events up to the moment the towers collapsed with such clarity.  When my little girl gets older and asks me about that day, I know I will be able to tell her what happened and how it happened, and why in all the terrible color of the truth.

I’m talking about all this not because I wanted tell you about what I was doing that I day, because it is totally unimportant..  I told you this because I remember.  That is the only reason, I remember and I want you to remember.

            I am a firm believer in the idea that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.  I believe that with every ounce of my being.  I ask all of you to remember.  Remember those that died in the attacks, remember those that died trying to save people in the towers and those that died in Pennsylvania and those at the Pentagon.  Remember those tat died in the events that happened directly because of that Tuesday morning.  Remember the fallen and remember the pain, so that the world will never see anything like this again.

I'm Still Here

I'm still around, and I'm still writing some.  I have been absent for so long because of some major changes in my life.  The demands on my time have gotten to the point where I was forced to cut something out, and unfortunately my writing is what got cut.  I am still writing, but it is very small amounts.  I plan to complete the music series I started on my review page.  I just put the finishing touches on all the posts.  Posting them won't be a problem, now that I have them written.

I am still editing my second anthology book.  It should be done by now and out, but like I said I am forced to turn my energy to other places.

I hope to have a new post up on here this week (fingers crossed).  Until then, thanks for not giving up on me. I am serious about my work, but life has taken priority, damn you life!

Help!!!

            I hate plot holes.  In my opinion there is nothing that can gut a story faster than a plot hole.  I'm one of these people that looks for them in any kind of media I come into contact with, from books to movies, and even video games.  It often irritates my friends because I have the habit of poking holes in even the most well written story.  Even stories that I love myself are not immune.  As much as I love the Dragonlance series, there are several places where I can punch a hole in the plot.  I am a terror.

            Why am I bringing this up?  Simple.  A few days ago I was in the middle of doing an edit on one of my short stories for my new anthology book when I stumbled on, you guessed it, a plot hole.  To be fair it's not horrible, and several people I have had read it, never even caught it.  Either that, or they were just being nice.  It's not even about the plot itself.  It has to do with the character himself and an abrupt  transition from one set of actions to another, without any real reason or prior explanation.

            Most plot holes can be fixed quickly or sometimes they require a re-write, depending on how bad the problem is.  Obviously you can see where a quick fix would work in this case, I would just have to add either an explanation or a trait that would explain the sudden change in behavior of the character, but you can also probably see where a re-write could possibly produce a better overall flow.  No matter what though, it is there, and in the words of Morpheus it's like a splinter in my mind, and it must be dealt with.
 
            Now I am faced with a simple dilemma, which method do I use to fix it?  It's not that I haven't faced this before in my other stories, but this time it is different because I could use both methods to remedy the problem.  My biggest dilemma, is that a quick fix may make the character seem too unrealistic, or a total re-write may produce a purely malevolent person, which is not what I was aiming for with this character.  To be honest, the character is a villain, but now I must decide what kind of villain he is.  Is he someone who just seems to make bad choices, or is he a sociopath that has no redeeming qualities and should be killed on sight.   I'm not sure which method to choose.

            So, I am going to ask all of you, what it is you think I should do.  Should I just do a quick plug that would do the job, or a total re-write, which could change the overall nature of my character and leave me with something different than what I started from? 

            Granted a re-write may produce something that is superior to what I have now, but I must admit I am quite fond of the story the way it is.  In fact, it is one of my favorites from my new book.  Despite this, I'm leaning towards the re-write since I think it will produce a more cohesive end result.
 
            So give me your opinions and suggestions.  Do I use a quick fix, a re-write or do I forget the whole thing, and go eat some noodles?

The Noise of Inspiration

          So, I have been asked by several people how I come with the things that I write.  I usually just shrug and say it just comes to me, it just pops in my head and I write it down.  They look at me like I'm lying, but I'm telling the truth.  I know that as a writer I should be in better touch with what inspires me, but a lot of the time, I simply don't know. 
         
          After a few times of people asking me this I started to wonder: what really does inspire me.  I'm forced to admit, I had a very hard time answering the question.  Some of my favorite stuff came to me when I was just cleaning.  Not too much inspirational about that, at least to me anyway. 

          Finally, an answer of sorts came to me, music.  Not just any song though, a select few songs that I have discovered over the years that speak to me.  These are songs that I can turn on, close my eyes, and lose myself in the melody and lyrics.  For me, those songs are few and far in between, but some of my best stuff, though not always my favorite, came to me this way.

          You may ask, what particular kind of music gets my attention?  To be honest almost any, if it reaches me the right way.  I am a huge Staind fan, and a lot of their songs rank high on my list, one in particular, but there are other songs besides those from Staind, from all genres, that I feel more than hear.  There is country, metal, rock, pop there is even a few orchestra or classical style songs that I love. 

          I have noticed one thing that many of these songs have in common.  They often have unhappy, or depressive themes, though not all.  I guess those types of songs fit my personality and writing style better than happy and upbeat tunes.  Of course, if you have read any of my work, it's pretty obvious I tend to stray to the darker side of things (no star wars pun intended). 

          No matter what the mood of the song, if it speaks to me then I am in love with it.  I can honestly say without shame, that I have been close to tears because of a song striking just that right chord within me.  I have lost hours upon hours just sitting in the dark listening to music and getting lost in what I'm hearing.  I can see the places that are being described or feel the emotion of a song.  For me that is a powerful experience that cannot be equaled.  Many songs I own, I have kept simply because of a special memory or attachment they have for me.

          So, having said that I have decided that I am going to do a little review series about my favorite songs from various genres.  If I did them all at once the post would be so long, I wouldn't want read it myself, much less ask you to.  The first one is coming soon, when it is out I will let everyone know.  Just click on the "A Scribes Reviews" tab at the top of the page and it will take you right there.

          To end this I will tell you my absolute two favorite songs right now.  The reason should be pretty self-explanatory. 

          1. Zoe Jane by Staind
          2. My Little Girl by Tim McGraw

I didn't make this pic.  I found it online, but I love it.

I'm Still Here

Well, it has been a really, really long time since I have posted anything on my blog, done a review, or even taken a deep breath.  I'm not going to bore you with the details of my life, but I will say that my life has kind of thrown me around lately.  I have been dealing with that, and basically forgotten about everything else. 

Fortunately, things are slowing down for me, at least some, so I am hoping to get back to work for all of you soon.  I discovered that I can use my Kindle to make editing notes recently, so that has put me back on track with my latest anthology book. 

I must admit I can't wait until this thing is done.  It's not that the book itself has been aggravation, in truth I had fun writing it; editing not so much.  Anyway, everything that could have happened to slow the process down, or sometimes stop it completely has happened.  Thank goodness I didn't put out a release date, or I would have become a big fat liar and there would have been many people po'ed at me.

Suffice it to say, it has been slow going, but I am working steadily.  Thanks to all who have to supported me, and I also want to thank those that haven't.  Why?  Well it's simple, I want to shove your faces in it when I get it out there!

I don't see any book reviews coming any time soon, but I do have a couple to read, so hopefully I will get back on the ball with that too.

Thanks to all, be they supporter or nay-sayer.  To the supporters I say thank you, to the nay-sayers I say @#$%&.

I have managed to at least stay up to date on my social empire, so you can join me there.  The links are on the right.  Everyone is always welcome!

I'll leave you with a pic I have that makes me smile.  Later all!

I Wanted to Sceam...Pure and Simple

This was me!

            After the last week and a half, all I want to do is scream.  It has been the most stressful few days that I have endured in two years.  To put it simply my job was on the line.  I may be an Indie Author, but I have to pay the bills, and I have to be honest, I'm not going to do it selling my books, at least not yet.  I, like, almost five thousand of my co-workers lived with this same stress.

           I walked around with little sleep, almost in haze like I was drunk.  I would go from being nauseated to having chest pains, and at one point I was near panic.  My mood ranged from being almost giddy from lack of sleep to being mean and hateful for no real reason.  The worst part was the feeling of helplessness, and the fact that my fate, and my family's was being decided behind a closed door, and I had no say in it at all.  It's quite frustrating to say the least.

            At first all we heard was a few rumors here and there, then you start to hear more and more. I must admit I don't put a lot of faith in rumors, but at the same time I have been through this before.  The facility I worked in before my current job closed.  Fortunately I was able to get a new job before the facility closed, but then, like now I heard rumors too.  What's more this was not the first time there had been layoffs at my current job, the last time was, you guessed it, two years ago.

            For the longest time I did not believe the rumors at my first job, that the place was closing, but at some point it occurred to me that the rumors must be coming from somewhere, so I decided to jump ship the first chance I got.  It was the right thing to do.  The case was the same this time too, but this time, for some reason I believed most of the rumors that I had heard.  I knew, in my heart, that they were true.  Once again, unfortunately, I was right. 

            Everything came to a head on Thursday, May 31.  Many people lost their jobs, including a close friend, but I managed to make it through unscathed.  Once I returned home that night and was finally able to calm down after being wound up like a spring for over a week, I started to think more and more about what had happened, and I thought back to a conversation that I had with several co-workers on Wednesday. 

            Many said that if they kept their jobs and their friends did not, which was likely, that they would feel guilty.  I looked at them honestly, and said I would not.  I would feel bad for them of course, but I'm forced to think about my family first.  In this instance I was wrong.  Though I was thankful I was still working, I did feel a tremendous guilt and humility that I was spared and others were not.  I must be honest I do not feel secure right now, but at least the moment of crisis has past, and I can breathe a little, but it is only prudent to be making plans and exploring other options in case it does happen to me.  I made it through this sort of thing three times now, the fourth time I might not be so lucky.

            I finished the day with a single post on Twitter, that summed up the entire last ten days:  "Bad day.  Thankful saddened and humbled.  That is all."  It could not have been more appropriate.

            At first I thought about writing a short story about this, but I decided against it, though I don't know why.  I think it was because I had no right because I was spared and so many others were not especially my friend.

            Obviously I have gotten nothing done, nor have I even tried to get anything done, on any of my projects for quite a while.  I hope to start back up soon. 

"Bad day.  Thankful saddened and humbled.  That is all."